Friday, 27 July 2007

Girlspeak To English Dictionary

She says                               English
--------- -------
We need I want
It's your decision The correct decision should be
obvious by now
Do what you want You'll pay for this later
We need to talk I need to complain
Sure...go ahead I don't want you to.
I'm not upset Of course I'm upset, you moron.
You' manly You need a shave and you sweat
a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight. Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not I have PMS.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient. I want a new house.
I want new curtains and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper...
Hang the picture there No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? I'm going to ask for something
How much do you love me? I did something today you're
really not going to like...
I'll be ready in a minute. Kick off your shoes and find a
good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? [Too late, your dead.]
Yes No
No No
Maybe No
I'm sorry. You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? It's easy to fix, so you'd
better get get used to it.
I'm not yelling! Yes I am yelling because I
think this is important.

In answer to the question "What's wrong?"

The same old thing. Nothing.
Nothing. Everything.
Everything. My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really. It's just that you're such a jerk.
I don't want to talk about it. Go away, I'm still building up
evidence against you.

Best Seinfeld Quotes

Today I would like to share with you some of the best quotes from the best comedy show of all times.

Jerry on socks: The dryer is their only chance to escape and they all know it. They plan it in the hamper the night before. "Tomorrow, the dryer. I'm going."
The Seinfeld Chronicles

George: We have to talk.
Jerry: The four worst words in the English language.
George: Either that, or, "Whose bra is this?
Male Unbonding

Jerry on Uncle Leo: He's always grabbing my arm when he talks to me. I guess it's because so many people have left in the middle of his conversation.
The Pony Remark

Jerry: So go to a clinic, get your sperm county checked.
Kramer: Yeah, but then I'd have to - you know - into a cup in the middle of the day!
Elaine: Does that conflict with your regular schedule?

Elaine to Jerry: You know, just when I think you're the shallowest man I know, you somehow manage to drain a little bit more out of the pool.
The Implant

Jerry: Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.
The Baby Shower

Girlfriend's Brother: You double dipped a chip! Next time, just take one dip, and end it!!
The Implant

Elaine: You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.
Jerry: I went out with you.
Elaine: That's because my standards are too low.
The Fix-Up

Kramer: These pretzels are making me thirsty.
The Alternate Side

Newman: Jerry, I'm a little insulted.
Jerry: You're not a little anything, Newman.
The Label Maker

Jerry: I hate rental cars. Nothing ever works. The window doesn't work, the radio doesn't work... and it smells like a cheap hooker... Or is that you?
Elaine: Gimme ten bucks and find out.
The Airport

Jerry: All right. How 'bout this one: let's say you're abducted by aliens.
George: Fine.
Jerry: They haul you aboard the mother ship, take you back to their planet as a curiosity. Now: would you rather be in their zoo, or their circus?
George: I gotta go zoo. I feel like I could set more of my own schedule.
Jerry: But in the circus you get to ride around in the train, see the whole planet!
George: I'm wearing a little hat, I'm jumping through fire.. They're putting their little alien heads in my mouth...
Jerry: At least it's show business...
George: But in the zoo, you know, they might, put a woman in there with me to, uh... you know, get me to mate.
Jerry: What if she's got no interest in you?
George: Then I'm pretty much where I am now. At least I got to take a ride on a spaceship.
The Bizarro Jerry

Jerry: She had man hands.
Elaine: Man hands?
Jerry: The hands of a man. It's like a creature out of Greek Mythology, I mean, she was like part woman, part horrible beast.
Elaine: Would you prefer it if she had no hands at all?
Jerry: Would she have hooks?
The Bizarro Jerry

George: You met her at the supermarket? How did you do that?
Jerry: Produce section. Very provocative area. A lot of melons and shapes. Everyone's squeezing and smelling.
The Junior Mint

Elaine: You know, men can sit through the most boring movie if there's even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.
George: So what's your point?
The Movie

George: What kind of a person are you?
Jerry: I think I'm pretty much like you, only successful.
The Old Man

Jerry: What's the matter?
Elaine: I was having lunch and I bit down on the fork.
Jerry: Boy, it's hard to believe with so much biting experience a person could still make a mistake like that.
The Non-Fat Yogurt

Jerry: Look Elaine, the black and white cookie. I love the black and white. Two races of flavour living side by side in harmony. It's a wonderful thing, isn't it?
Elaine: You know, I often wonder what you'll be like when you're senile.
Jerry: I'm looking forward to it.
The Dinner Party

Jerry: You left the lock open or the door open?
Kramer: The door. You have insurance, don't you?
Jerry: No, I spent it on the lock. It has only one flaw: The door must be closed!

Jerry: So you're never gonna have sex again?
George: Well, Jerry. There was a pretty good chance I was never gonna have sex again anyway.
The Abstinence

Jerry: Oh, you're crazy.
Kramer: Am I? Or am I so sane that you just blew your mind?

Jerry: Elaine, the guy's Jewish two days, he's already making Jewish jokes.
Elaine: So what? When someone turns twenty-one, they usually get drunk the first night.
Jerry: Booze is not a religion.
Elaine: Tell that to my father.
The Yada Yada

Jerry: I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley. I have a suspicion that he's converted to Judaism just for the jokes.
Father: And this offends you as a Jewish person.
Jerry: No, it offends me as a comedian.
The Yada Yada

Kramer: You think that dentists are so different from me and you? They came to this country just like everybody else, in search of a dream.
Jerry: Kramer, he's just a dentist.
Kramer: Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite.
Jerry: I am not an anti-dentite!
Kramer: You're a rabid anti-dentite! Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs. "Hey, denty!" Next thing you know you're saying they should have their own schools.
Jerry: They do have their own schools!
The Yada Yada

Jerry: She's a virgin, she just told me.
Elaine: Well I didn't know.
Jerry: Well it's not like spotting a toupee.
Elaine: Well you think I should say something? Should I say something? Should I apologize? Was I being anti-virgin?
The Virgin

Elaine: Look, Marla. This whole sex thing is totally overrated. Now, here's the one thing you've gotta be ready for is how the man changes into a completely different person five seconds after it's over. I mean, something happens to their personality it's really quite astounding. It's like they committed a crime and they want to flee the scene before the police get there.
Marla: So they just leave?
Elaine: Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Well, the smart ones start working on their getaway stories during dinner. How, you know, they gotta get up early tomorrow. What is about being up early? They all turn into farmers suddenly.
Marla: Wow. It must be pretty good to put up with all that.
Elaine: Eh.
The Virgin

George: There's gotta be more to life than this. What gives you pleasure?
Jerry: Listening to you. I listen to this for fifteen minutes and I'm on top of the world. Your misery is my pleasure.
The Old Man

Thursday, 26 July 2007

10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.

Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.

1. Dress Sharp

Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.

This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Walk Faster

One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

3. Good Posture

Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial

One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

5. Gratitude

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people

When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

7. Sit in the front row

In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

8. Speak up

During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out

Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

10. Focus on contribution

Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.